1.A girl born beautiful is half married.

2.A fly in the soup is better than no meat at all.

3.It’s not the early bird that catches the worm, but a smart one.

4.If my aunty had been a man she would have been my uncle.

5.A bee cannot sting and make honey at the same time.

6.You can’t judge a book by its cover.

7.That ball went so high it could have kissed an air hostess.

8.Character is not made in a crisis, it is exhibited.

9.Life without cricket is a smooch without a squeeze.

10.All that comes out of a cow is not milk.

11.You can never unscramble eggs.

12.The fattest pigs go to the butcher first.

13.A good lather is half the shave.

14.When you get hit on the big-toe (???) it leaves you breathless and feels like the king has lost his crown.

15.This shot was as straight as a candle and as sweet as a candy.

16.In the orchard of opportunity, you can’t wait for the fruit to drop.

17.I lean on statistics like a drunken man leans on a lamppost, only for support, not illumination.

18.If your enemy has dug a hole for you and you have fallen flat into it with your bums sticking out, the enemy is going to point a barrel gun at it and shoot till you drop dead.

19.Darker the berry sweeter the juice.

20.Some girls show a lot of style and style shows a lot of girls.

More to follow later…